“I don’t have a problem with awareness, it’s acceptance that is difficult.” This is what I said to my therapist many, many months ago, and it’s an ethos that I apply to all avenues of my life.
Because the thing is, awareness, that’s the easy part. Our brains really, really like noticing things. Once you’ve been told about something, suddenly you notice it. It’s the whole red car thing, suddenly you start seeing them everywhere.
But noticing something, does not actually change anything.
I can notice that my dog has done a poo in the middle of a path, but if I don’t bend down, armed with a poo bag and pick it up, then someone else is going to walk through that turd. I need to take action.
And that’s why we need to aim for acceptance, not awareness. Acceptance requires action, it requires change. You can be aware that Autism, transness etc. exist, that’s easy. But to actually accept these things? To embrace them? That is much, much harder.
That requires a complete change in mindset. It’s work, and it’s tiring. But it’s also worth it.
To come back to my poo example. It would be way easier to notice the poo, pat myself on the back (only a minor shoulder dislocation, no big deal) and walk away. However, that still leaves a poo for someone else to deal with. That poo impacts everyone else, and plenty of people will probably notice it and eventually one person will step in it.
But if I pick it up, tackle the problem head on- then actually, no one needs to notice it. Because their path is clean. I’ve accepted that it’s my responsibility to clean up the mess and everyone benefits.
That’s what acceptance looks like. It is:
- Noticing the problem
- Figuring out the extent of the problem
- Getting the right tools to address the problem
- Addressing the problem
Let’s take neurodivergence as an example and what acceptance might look like
- Notice the problem: Our neurodivergent employees and candidates seem to really be struggling
- Figuring out the extent of the problem: The main issues seem to be around our working environment, communication and policies
- Getting the right tools to address the problem: We’ll need to think about what changes we can make and get in some additional expertise as well as draw on the experience of our existing ND employees. Let’s listen
- Addressing the problem: We’re getting creative, we’re challenging assumptions. We’ve moved from noticing the problem to getting excited about the solutions.
- Cultural change: We’ve grown. We know everyone is different and we get excited about that difference. Bob is Autistic but he absolutely loves coming in and socialising. Devi is an ADHDer who gets distracted easily so she works from home most of the time. None of our interviewers expect certain behaviours in interviews and this has actually helped us cross cultural barriers. We openly talk about how best to support each other, and get excited when others do things a little differently.
Of course, getting to step 5 takes a lot of change and is an ongoing process. But step 5 is what acceptance is. It’s being willing to grow and change. To expand your knowledge and stay curious. Because when we do that, everyone benefits.
If you want support on your acceptance journey, why not get in touch today and see how we can help you?